Luke Clanton is HIM 👀

Mooooorning! Welcome to the Breakfast Ball Buffet — your snarky companion for all things golf, because who needs sugar-coating? Here’s what we’re serving up this week ↓

• A first time winner and a 5️⃣9️⃣

• Luke Clanton: remember the name 👀

• No Open Championship for Sergio 🇬🇧

• The GOAT golf brawl 🥊

A first time winner and a 5️⃣9️⃣

As it is every year, the John Deere Classic was a weird week. A week where they play the easiest course on Tour, and almost no top-50 players tee it up.

On Thursday, we had Hayden Springer become the 14th player in PGA Tour history to shoot a 59 ↓

I don’t care where it happens, whether it be a local muni or Augusta National; a 59 is always worth glazing. So sick.

But it was Davis Thompson who dominated over the weekend, winning his first ever PGA Tour event. He’s still so young and super nasty. There is a major or two in his future.

I’ll toot my own horn yet again, because look who my pick was this week ↓

Been hitting outrights on a biweekly basis since May (don’t unit shame me for on this one). I should really consider quitting my day job.

Anyways, back to the golf — here’s my issue with the JDC: the course is just way too easy. In what world is it acceptable to have your winner finish at -28 for the week?

16 players finished at -20 or better. Honestly just pure stupidity. Change the venue and challenge the guys a bit.

Thank god we have some good golf coming up: the Scottish Open this week, the Open next week, and then the playoffs in less than a month 🍿

Luke Clanton: remember the name 👀

Last summer, we had Ludvig Åberg go straight from college to becoming a top-10 player in the world in a matter of months.

This summer, we’re witnessing a 20-year-old sophomore from FSU, Luke Clanton, contend virtually every week on the PGA Tour.

He finished T41 at the US Open, beating plenty of big name pros. Then he goes to Detroit two weeks ago, and had a T10 finish in his first-ever PGA Tour start.

This week, Clanton finished 2nd (!!!) at the John Deere Classic. Check out these ridiculous numbers ↓

Based on my calculations, he would’ve pocketed $804,776 the last two weeks if he was pro. Florida State doesn't even pay its football players that well, do they?

Absolutely ridiculous stuff from anyone, let alone a 20-year-old amateur.

No Open Championship for Sergio 🇬🇧

Sergio Garcia’s 100th major start will have to wait until April 2025 after he failed to qualify for the 152nd Open Championship.

Someone definitely pissed in his cereal when he woke up the morning of the qualifier, because he was in a putrid mood from start to finish, all day.

He was given a slow play warning early on, and he blamed the crowds for causing it. He also beefed with the official for calling him out ↓

He ended up missing the mark by 3 shots, with a fellow LIV player, Sam Horsfield, and a former Ryder Cup teammate, Justin Rose, taking the qualifying spots.

We do this dialogue before every major, but it sucks that a guy like Sergio isn’t playing in the Open because of the tour he plays on.

I am well aware that he knew the consequences of going to LIV, but by now, I thought they’d have this headache of a situation sorted.

The GOAT golf brawl 🥊

I don’t needa dive too deeply here, I just felt a dire need to have it in today’s edition of BBB.

I present to you, the greatest golf brawl of all time ↓

Dutch Olympic beef 🇳🇱

A couple weeks back, the Dutch Olympic Federation announced that they weren’t going to fund a team at the Paris Olympics next month.

Joost Luiten, who is the best Dutch golfer in the world, said fuck it, hired a bunch of lawyers, and took his own country to court, and rightfully so.

Well last Wednesday, he won the case. Something you love to see ↓

Quick bites 🥓

Jordan Spieth is a golf comedian: he might suck right now, but at least he’s hilarious while sucking. Check this hilarious reaction to a missed par putt on Saturday 😂

The dream ace: this guy not only managed to ace the 7th hole at Pebble, one of the most iconic holes in the sport, but also got it on video. Enjoy ☝️

Not the time to skull it: this dude tried to take a crazy angle over a house, and let’s just say it didn’t go ass planned 💀