Xander Schauffele is a Major Champion 🏆

GM! Grab your coffee and get ready to tee off your week with the Breakfast Ball Buffet – your go-to newsletter for all things golf, served up with a side of simplicity and a pinch of satire. Here’s what’s on the grill this AM:

• Xander finally crossed the finish line 🏆

• Bryson is the hottest stock in golf 📈

• Scottie had a week 🚔

• Paige Spiranac x Livvy Dunne 👀

Xander finally crosses the finish line

Sunday at the PGA Championship was electric. Bryson and Vik charged, but Xander was simply not allowing anyone to take this one for him.

After Bryson’s electric birdie on the 72nd hole to tie the lead, Xander had to birdie his last hole to win outright.

He got a horrible break off the tee, hit a phenomenal second shot, and left himself with 6 feet for his first major championship. Then, he delivered ↓

Personally, I am SO happy that Xander won. I think he’s awesome, and one of the most underrated characters in golf.

I love that the public perception of him that he’s some boring dude with a sick golf swing, when in reality, he’s one of the coolest dudes out there.

The entire golf world was ragging on, and fading Xander after getting dominated by Rory last week at the Wells Fargo Championship.

Everyone and their mothers were on Rory, Scottie and Brooks this week.

Clearly, X was just saving his best stuff for this week, and boy did he deliver — a top 5 talent in the world FINALLY got his major. Finally.

Bryson is the hottest stock in golf

Bryson never shies away from the spotlight. More often than not, he gets a bad rap from golf media, when in reality, he’s one of, if not the most interesting man in golf.

He has an awesome YouTube channel, he’s always up to crazy, yet really cool shit, and he seems like a genuinely great human being.

He’s fascinating — exactly what the golf world needs more of.

He had an electric showing this week at Valhalla. He fell one shot short of a playoff and a chance at his second major, but it really feels like this is the week that will have him universally recognized as the man.

Someone needs to study how Bryson DeChambeau took $125 million from the Saudis and then became infinitely more popular with fans of the PGA Tour. A crazy paradox.

Anyways, here’s the moment from this week that proves the Bryson stock is equivalent to Gamestop ($GME) in 2021, except Bryson won’t crash after a few days ↓

Bryson alone is one of the main reasons we need this merger to happen ASAP. Must-see TV at all times. Needle-mover.

Scottie had a week

In our emergency newsletter on Friday morning, we gave you the entire rundown of the Scottie situation, along with the best memes it provided.

I still cannot believe that happened, but it’s well-worth your time to reflect on Scottie Scheffler’s Thursday-Sunday timeline at the PGA Championship:

Thursday — first round back after having his first child, with little practice. Holes out for eagle from 170 at the first, and shoots an effortless 67.

Friday — gets arrested on his way to the golf course, goes to jail, still manages to not only make his tee time, but shoot a 66. How?

Saturday — his first round in over three years without Ted Scott on the bag, and shot his first over-par round since August 2023, which bears the question: is Scottie a system player?

Sunday — gets Ted Scott back on the bag, and fires a 65 to cap off a T8 finish and a truly stupid week.

It’s not an understatement to say that he had one of, if not the craziest stretch of days in golf history, and it would’ve been the undisputed #1 if he had won the tournament.

Anyways, enjoy the hardest video in golf history ↓

Golf stonks 📊

Paige Spiranac x Livvy Dunne

A few Sports Illustrated models linked up this weekend, and surely it’s worth noting.

Low and behold:

Nelly won again

Welp, Nelly Korda won again. I’m shocked that I haven’t gotten bored of saying that yet.

This time she did it Liberty National. 6 wins in her last 7 starts. We are wellllll into Tiger territory with this one. I bet you she makes it 7 in her last 8 next week.

Fun fact: both 2020 Olympic Gold medalist golfers won this weekend (Xander and Nelly).

Quick Bites 🥓

The moment Bryson found out it was over 🥈: KVV got a video of the moment Bryson saw Xander’s winning putt drop while warming up for a playoff on the range. What a scene.

Donald Trump and Tony Romo played golf together this weekend: 45 and the former Cowboys QB linked up in Dallas over the weekend to get a round in.

Psycho fan at Valhalla 🐍: a snake tried to hang out with some fans at the PGA Championship, and this fan was not having it.